not trying to blend

What if I am cringy

A background player

That everyone laughs at

Self aware that I dont fit in

But also comfortable in myself

And that confidence shines through

Because I don't hate myself

I'd rather embrace my awkward

Than chase someone else's ideal 

And maybe some people mock me

But that tells me who they are

It doesn't affect who I choose to be.

not dying today

My symptoms aren't acute

They're persistent and uncomfortable 

Just not urgent or life threatening

I have treatements that work

Not a cure but a way to manage

And succesfull lifestyle changes

That make my symptoms less

But you can't call me healthy

I live with symptoms everyday

I'm surviving, not thriving

Some days are less pain 

But I can't imagine pain free

Inot well but I'm also not dying today.

not a brave face

In a culture where tough is praised

And showing pain is weak

Then I'm considered a whiner

Because sometimes I name it

Instead of living in painful silence

I defy loneliness and issolation

Take comfort from those around me

By bravely sharing my vulnerability

Admitting that living sometimes hurts

Speaking up can't remove pain

But it can make it more bearable.

not about you

My house is my comfort

It should fit my needs

I keep it up to my standards

I don't clean for guests

I live in my body

My asthetic is for me

And clothe it as I please

I don't dress for strangers

My behavior is my choice

My choices may not work for you

I have to live with my consequences

And I don't require your approval

Sometimes my actions effect you

And that is when you get to care

But I still keep these boundaries 

My life choices don't disrespect you.