decenter

Why do you center yourself

Speaking for us but not to us

Give me back my words

Don't talk about me or for me

Your ignorance is quickly seen

But only by those in the know

You try to gatekeep what I say

Make up words to avoid what I am

My learned experience rings true

Even when you suppress my story.

living my truth

I'm not willing to lie anymore

They like me hiding the real me

It allowed them to be comfortable

But it made me feel worse

You don't want to hear about my day

Because my day involves pain

You don't want to hear what I feel

My good attitude is back lit by pain

If the real me was hateful

Then maybe I'd understand

But this is about social discomfort

This is about disturbing truth

I'm outspoken but introverted

I'm employed and disabled 

I'm authentic with mental illness

I'm not looking to fit your mold.

wife left in the hospital

In sickness and in health they say

But it's often a one sided promise

We all agree boys run away 

Eager to escape emotional burden

But men are no better at sticking it out

When a woman needs support

Men feel they're in the right to leave

If a woman can't serve her role

Husbands don't stay to be caregivers

If a wife becomes a burden

Chronic illness is a dealbreaker.

skewed by suspicion

Why do you have expectations

Of how health should look or act

You don't live in my symptoms

Health isn't linear and we aren't twins

 

Who taught you to doubt me

To question a wheelchair or cane

Eager to catch me in the act

Of some malingering performance 

Why am I guilty until proven innocent

Your view is skewed by suspicion

Outright assuming I must be lying

Making it up to gain attention

Who wants to living in this picture

Putting on a long con for strangers 

Getting all this negative attention

Living outside socially acceptable

Why do you think you are special 

That I'm makings it up for you

That you know the ultimate truth

That you know me better than me.

Medicine exists for healthy people

Doctors goal is to get people healthy

So when faced with chronic illness

A complicated patient they can't fix

Once their diagnosis is complete

And they've handed out treatment

Even if the symptoms are still present

They wash their hands of us

Doctors aren't here for wholistic care

Few are excited by a long term puzzle

The puzzle of confusing symptoms

And rounds of inconclusive tests

They default to psychosomatic 

They outsource the care of emotion

That is the role of a psychiatrist 

Doctors want to conquer health

Not hear a frustrated patient

With never ending symptoms

They want to be the hero

But after multiple appointments 

It's easier to label malaise

Than admit their failure.