Monday, October 30, 2023


Why do you center yourself
Speaking for us but not to us
Give me back my words
Don't talk about me or for me
Your ignorance is quickly seen
But only by those in the know
You try to gatekeep what I say
Make up words to avoid what I am
My learned experience rings true
Even when you suppress my story.

Monday, October 23, 2023

living my truth

I'm not willing to lie anymore
They like me hiding the real me
It allowed them to be comfortable
But it made me feel worse

You don't want to hear about my day
Because my day involves pain
You don't want to hear what I feel
My good attitude is back lit by pain

If the real me was hateful
Then maybe I'd understand
But this is about social discomfort
This is about disturbing truth

I'm outspoken but introverted
I'm employed and disabled 
I'm authentic with mental illness
I'm not looking to fit your mold.

Monday, October 16, 2023

wife left in the hospital

In sickness and in health they say
But it's often a one sided promise
We all agree boys run away 
Eager to escape emotional burden
But men are no better at sticking it out
When a woman needs support
Men feel they're in the right to leave
If a woman can't serve her role
Husbands don't stay to be caregivers
If a wife becomes a burden
Chronic illness is a dealbreaker.

Monday, October 9, 2023

skewed by suspicion

Why do you have expectations
Of how health should look or act
You don't live in my symptoms
Health isn't linear and we aren't twins
Who taught you to doubt me
To question a wheelchair or cane
Eager to catch me in the act
Of some malingering performance 

Why am I guilty until proven innocent
Your view is skewed by suspicion
Outright assuming I must be lying
Making it up to gain attention

Who wants to living in this picture
Putting on a long con for strangers 
Getting all this negative attention
Living outside socially acceptable

Why do you think you are special 
That I'm makings it up for you
That you know the ultimate truth
That you know me better than me.

Monday, October 2, 2023

Medicine exists for healthy people

Doctors goal is to get people healthy
So when faced with chronic illness
A complicated patient they can't fix
Once their diagnosis is complete
And they've handed out treatment
Even if the symptoms are still present
They wash their hands of us

Doctors aren't here for wholistic care
Few are excited by a long term puzzle
The puzzle of confusing symptoms
And rounds of inconclusive tests
They default to psychosomatic 
They outsource the care of emotion
That is the role of a psychiatrist 

Doctors want to conquer health
Not hear a frustrated patient
With never ending symptoms
They want to be the hero
But after multiple appointments 
It's easier to label malaise
Than admit their failure.