Book

Monday, May 30, 2022

Doctors make me cry

Anxious, I arrive at the appointment 
I want to believe it will be different
Maybe they won't dismiss me
Maybe they'll listen this time
Afterwards, I sit in the car and cry
Because they're so predictable 
Medical school teaches them we lie
Insurance decide how they can help
And I don't fit their medical model
I'm a complicated case
With too many ongoing symptoms
So I only go when it's bad
When my symptoms are acute
Because I need them to believe me
Because sick is my everyday
But my truth is never enough
It doesn't convince their authority 
I walk away dissatisfied 
Tears crashing down from my eyes.

Monday, May 23, 2022

I survived today

Some days life hurts
And today included pain
In a terrible wave it hit me
It was awful and it overwhelming 
I suffered with eyes closed
A moment felt like forever
I thought it might never end
But then the wave passed
And it still hurt, but less so
I was grateful for the smaller pain
And eager for the end of today
Because tommorow is a new day
Because some days life doesn't hurt.

Monday, May 16, 2022

not my potential

It's not our job to see potential in others
We are not tasked with improving them
If they didn't ask to be mentored
Or request our guidance in changing
It's not fair to mold them to our expectation
To try and change someone for our needs
The belief that manipulation can be good
That we are doing what's best for them
Thats stealing their chance to choose
Abusing throught lies and obfuscation 
They deserve to make their own mistakes
To be autonomous in their decision
To be a person that doesn't serve our needs
Growth and evolution is a personal journey
Only I can choose to change me
And they should get the same oportunity.


Monday, May 9, 2022

Speaking freely

I let my tongue wag loose
Free to say whatever it wants
I speak comfortably and confidently 
You can be impressed by my esteem
Or you can recognize my folly
Sometimes I make a fool of myself 
I mess up what I'm trying to say
I say things in a very wrong way
That us the cost of a free tongue
Actions have consequences 
And my tounge lives with regrets.

Monday, May 2, 2022

cruel animal

Humans are born with
Compassion and kindness
So how do we loose them
Where do they go
Is it a lack of nurture
Or the harsh lessons of life
Removing our nature of care
Turning us into jaded adults
We end up keeping pain alive
Passing on perceived harm
We nurture the worst part of us
We can be such cruel animals.