Sunday, May 30, 2021

Manic pixie dream

I'm not a step on your journey
Or an example of wild and free
Not a tool for you to learn from
Or a character in your story

Viewing me as a step on your path
Is just a way to procrastinate 
Your authentic journey is inside you
That path has nothing to do with me

If you ever figure out who you is
When you can give and take equally
Thats when we can consider us
Then come and talk to me.

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Under the bus

I can't belive I couldn't see
That you are nothing like me
My mistake was trusting you
Believing in human decency

You made yourself so small
So petty and mean and shallow
I wanted to lift us both up
But instead you made us fall

You dismissed my truth
And twisted my words
And I didn't see it coming
Somehow you blindsided me

So now I'm hurt and angry
But who am I too blame
Me, you, the bus, or the driver
I'm run over all the same.

Tuesday, May 18, 2021


He thought dizzy was joy
Dancing around in circles
And love meant freedom
As he spun to another partner
He said all the right words
Words that dazzled me
But the words were empty
I was alone next to him 
A warm body in his bed
A placeholder, easily replaceable 
As I tried to hold on to him
I watched him spin away.

Monday, May 17, 2021

I love me so I can love you

Everything for anyone always
Is a perfection I don't try for
Self sacrifice and unending kindness
Are not my first goal
Self involvement can lead to self care
Boundaries can make better buddies
Because I'm only giving what I can
I stead of draining myself dry.

Sometimes love is kind

Nice is a performance
It exepects owed recopense
A positive return on investment

Kind is an attitude
Its persistently of service
Because the return is within

Love is complicated
It is an individual feeling
That is sometimes shared

I don't want a performance
I will reward a good attitude
I can't promise love.

Saturday, May 15, 2021

wierd, wonderful, diverse

The bee and the wasp are not the same
They are insects that can sting
Presenting colors of yellow and black
Flying from their homemade nests

But only one produces lovely honey
While the other is viewed as a pest
And while one wasp can kill a bee
Many bees can defeat one wasp

This is the world we live in
Similar and different
A life of conflict and beauty
Wierd, wonderful, and diverse.

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Only in reality

I wouldn't survive a narrative
Of horror or action or fantasy
Of an inevitable apocalypse 
Or a horrifying dystopian future
Or a past plague without vaccine
My body would be the first to fall
At best I'm the supporting character
The one you knew wouldn't make it
I'm not the character that lives
But today isn't fiction and modern life means
My broken body has advanced medicine
My flawed mind is of corporate value
My imperfect self thrives in this reality.


Academic texts don't speak
They can't express lived experience
So I beg you, hold my hand a little
Lead me towards the truth
Your anger is valid
But it also stands between us
I know my ignorance isn't fair
And I know you are tired
But if you can give me your patience
I am open and eager to hear
I'm will de-center and shut up
Because I want to learn and be better
My white ego may be fragile
But I'm ready to let it shatter
I accept that I am part of the problen
I'm trying to be an ally.