Saturday, June 24, 2017

Disposable girl

I grew up in a disposable world
With an expiration date
And better just around the bend
We're all replaced, eventually

I wish there was a way
To love insensely, to love freely
Without feeling miserable
When that love isn't returned

I was a sesitive kid
So it always confused me
When my friends got new friends
And stopped spending time with me

And as a teen I felt slighted
When I was adored one moment
Treated like a bright and shiney
And then ignored the next

As an adult I was estranged
Rejected by my own blood
Family told me I wasnt wanted
Left me to fend for myself

But the greatest betrayal
Was undoubtedly my spouse
The person who knew me best
Who eventually stopped loving me

I cannot  claim innocence
As i have protected my heart
Refused those who are inconsistant
Rejected those who imply I'm less

My love can be intense and clingy
My honesty can scare away
But I refuse to pretend im someone else
Just to keep lonliness at bay.