Saturday, June 24, 2017

Disposable girl

I grew up in a disposable world
With an expiration date
And better just around the bend
We're all replaced, eventually

I wish there was a way
To love insensely, to love freely
Without feeling miserable
When that love isn't returned

I was a sesitive kid
So it always confused me
When my friends got new friends
And stopped spending time with me

And as a teen I felt slighted
When I was adored one moment
Treated like a bright and shiney
And then ignored the next

As an adult I was estranged
Rejected by my own blood
Family told me I wasnt wanted
Left me to fend for myself

But the greatest betrayal
Was undoubtedly my spouse
The person who knew me best
Who eventually stopped loving me

I cannot  claim innocence
As i have protected my heart
Refused those who are inconsistant
Rejected those who imply I'm less

My love can be intense and clingy
My honesty can scare away
But I refuse to pretend im someone else
Just to keep lonliness at bay.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Not sexy

I am liberated from sexy
Too old and fat and proud
To be anyones objectification

So much easier to be a feminist
When men don't acknowlede me
And women don't think me competition

If all you see is my imperfect exterior
and you can't get past my gender
Then I've escaped your attention

My desirability no longer defines me
I choose my brain and selfesteme
And therin lies my freedom.