Friday, July 31, 2015

End of girlish fantasy

Girls are taught to yearn for a prince
A man to sweep us off our feet
To take us to their priveledged world

I overheard this priveledged man
Argue against government assistance
Argue that poverty is a personality deficit

I listened as he dismissed the poor
As his friends agreed on our lesser worth
I felt impotent in the reality of this prince

My girlish fantasies cracked
Shatter like a looking glass
Under the weight of his words

I'm of the impoverished masses
A pesant born and bred
And I refuse to be seen as lesser

My mundane troubles define me
I can't imagine loving someone
That doesnt understand the same

And, let me not forget,
I'm a woman of feminist ideology
Who isnt looking to be rescued

Reality is a harsh mistress
It doesn't alow us childish games
It took away my fantasy

Fuck the prince and his worldview
I don't need shelter or rescue
...even if I idly miss the idea of it.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Fucking like teenagers

Dry humping on my bed
Mom's in the next room
This memory flashes
In a meeting at work

I fit around you like a glove
Tight and warm and eager
I'm desperate for your touch
At the most inappropriate times

We're full grown
You might even say old
But I feel like a hormonal teen
The moment we're alone

On my drive to work
I smile like the Cheshire cat
Images of the night before
Make me wet and squirm

Can't wait to see you again
Your smell, your taste, your touch
They haunt me deliciously
I lust after my sexy boy

Distracting me at work
Inspiring me when we're apart
You make me feel like a teenager
I can't wait for the next episode.

Its okay not to like me

"You try so hard to be liked"
I've heard this before
A passing observation
Usually given without mallace
But with an undertone of judgement

Translation: "Stop carring what others think"
The funny thing is I don't
I expect that people don't like me
I'm a wierd girl in a nomalized world
I don't have a problem with liking myself
But I'm realistic about others perception

From an early age I was loved
Mother reinforced my self-worth
I am priveledged with self-esteem
My self-love is close to narcissism
How is it that people don't see that?

I think what they see is that I'm nice
They hear me passing love around
Because love is easy for me
I'm not looking for external self worth
I'm looking for external acceptance

Does this mean I care what others think?
Of course! Who doesnt! I'm curious.
Does this mean I will change for others?
Not for strangers. Not for aquaintaces.
But relationships require compromise

I care what the people I love think
I want to know they accept me
I don't want to do things that hurt them
And I can change minor parts of myself
I'm open to conpromise and negotiation

I suppose some of what I do
Is try to give external self worth
Which is kinda silly, I know
I can't make someone love themself
If you must judge, aim for this futility

Dont mistake me, I dont I like everyone
I'm choosy about who I share myself with
I don't think everyone can be my friend
I don't WANT that many friends
I just want the people I love to feel loved

I smile at at strangers so they'll smile
But I don't waste more than a smile
I consider my attention valuable
Investement of my true self is rare
I "try hard" with the ones I "truly love."

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Time shrinks scars

Some wounds stay with us
We carry them around
Covered by scar tissue
To show the battles survived

Sometimes those scars ache
Touch the skin near and we cry
Seems like we'll never stop hurting
But time makes scars shrink
The pain is less intense
The longer we survive

Sometimes a loving touch
Can inflame the scar
Even worse than a bump or slap
But if we can push through the pain
If we can focus on the caress
Joy can speed our healing.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

It either is or it isn't

If the feeling is there
You don't have to wait
There is no learning
It either is or it isn't

I'm nobody's placeholder
I value myself too much
To cling to something that isn't
Done there, been that

I will work on us
When the work is not alone
But I won't adapt
when I'm the only one

You could be my king
I'd make you feel loved
Appreciate you everyday
If you'd do the same for me

One sided love
Is never gonna work
The song sings true
No more explination needed.

Saturday, July 18, 2015


You've infected my brain
A sickness I court
I feel my tempature rise
A pleasurable delirium

Flashbacks of our intimacy
Strike me in mundane moments
Is this fantasy my reality?
Is this love my hallucination?

I care little of my condition
The symptoms become comfort
When we are apart
You are within me

Passing time
Awaiting my next exposure
There is no remission
I wish no cure.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Love crazy

A single point
Focus severe
Tension immense
Feelings so dear

Twisted up
urging release
Wanton abandon
Falling deep

Sinking slowly
Still acceptance
Accepting defeat

This is love
I hate it.

Saturday, July 11, 2015


You are on me
Lingering in me
A delectable ache
A muscle memory

Nerves echoing
Vibrating aftershock
The faults of my body
Still in a quake

My nose knows
Our skin infused
Your scent and mine
An aura lingering

The rich flavor of us
Desert of pleasure
The taste and texture
fresh in my mind

I feel addicted
Yearning for a fix
Your sex is my drug
I'm a junkie for you love.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Sexy boy...

I crave you
Soft cream of your skin
Against my eager fingertips
Rough prickle of your scruff
Tickling my tender skin
Gentle weight of your body
Hovering above mine
Firm seek of your cock
Traveling to my warm core
Suddenly you are everything
Thrusting, pounding, encompasing
There is only feel
Our sex is estatic

I am wet at the thought
And yearn for the reality
I crave you.