Elizebeth Turnquist

Double chinWhitchy wart Jelly belly Cheese thighs Soft squishy Warm cuddly Massive me Taking space.

You can't win my affectionIt isn't a prize or a contest I don't want unpradictable romance 
And sweeping gestures are obscene The real test is everyday kindness Paying attention and spending time
Woo me with little tender moments Invest yourself and I will swoon.

Being unique isn't being the bestThey are two different measures When I compete with someone, I can loose When I compete with myself, I will improve Winning requires standards and conformity 
While flaws can be a part of individuality Self esteme is a wonderful thing But often confused with superiority.

Scorched earth is bitter smokey  Revenge is raw and bloddy But a legacy is sappy sweet Your regret should taste like sugar When you realize what your missing Winning is my happiness elsewhere Not the bad taste I left So I leave behind desert.

I don't choose to have enemiesYour anger isn't my business Until you set it in front of meEven then, I don't have to play tit for tat I can decide not to engage I can endeavor not to react Maybe that means I'm not tough Because I won't play your game of dirty I'm like my sweet and kind stuff I see that anger is a chunky pill It'll weigh me down if I ingest it And I don't need it to feel full.

I have a good personality Not the median or the max
And above average intelligence
A solid "B" student Patient and persistant I mostly get stuff done Loving but introverted I may not be the best Flawed and honest But I'm certainly not the worst.

Ideas abound Untested theories to try But the practical steps  Are not always so easy There are books to read But learning is limited by words A model is a representation Even a blueprint is on paper Doing teaches us better But adults are expected to know Not to explore like a clumsy child Failure is the freedom to try again But forgiveness is rare And mentors hard to find All that left is persistence The willingness to look foolish To find a lessons in mistake To keep trying regardless of reward.

Daily watering the same brown patch Investing hope in a color change The lack of difference is exausting
The hints and promises of new growth As the weeds get taller and grass dies Endless false starts grind away hope
The grass isn't always greener But maybe a new start can wake us up Maybe fresh hope is enough.

People can change But they change for themselves And they often don't try to change It is a natural, unexpected evolution

There comes a point whenThe promise of future change is a lie Where the pattern of actual behavior Is clear and inescapable
At some point it's time  to stop believing words repeated To recognize actions as answers To think about your power to choose
If you pin your future on another You are at the behest if their behavior If you choose your power of choice You may not wait for change in another.

That sick moment when you realize the ugly truth That you've invested yourselfIn something that has no future
Where you stubbornly held faith Sacrificed pieces of yourself
Gave into one sided compromise For something that didn't work
Suddenly, after so long, You can't keep from seeing it The truth slaps you in the face And the sun won't let you sleep
You don't want to give up You hate the idea of giving in But you can't stand where you are You ache to move forward
So you dive into the unknown Gamble on the risk of worse To relieve the pain of foolish You choose a new costume.

I always knew I wouldn't be outIf true unrest came to my time And now it's come to pass In my safe bubble I feel anxiety As I watch the world outside burn Sacrifice is the precursor to equity
What they do is better than me There is no excuse for my priveledge I won't justify my passivity In my heart, I support those protesting In my words, I support human rights But, no, I'm not on the front lines.

Why do you lie frivolusly?Throwing out half truths  With no real purposeWhy don't you speak true, When asked directly?
You say one thing And then behave opposite I don't see your hidden purpose I dont know your unspoken logic And I've dared to ask for both

You just don't make sense
I want to give you the benefit I'm fighting my persistant doubt My fault is in looking for good When the evidence points to bad
I dont want to dismiss you completely But I'm strugglig to see The value you bring The benefit of you It's sad, really.

If I've stated my case
Tried to be clear more than once And you still won't listen I concede to your stuborn
Indifference is cruel A worse punishment than anger It's not my business to fix you It's my right to go silent
I don't reward bad behavior I don't participate in stupid I don't have to fight Just because I'm right
You keep flailing at the wind As I calmly walk away You can have the win I choose my own peace.

Some of us are not the first choice Not the significant other Not even the best friend Some of us are supporting cast We may be the lead in our own story But have no lines in another's Maybe we're a lone wolf Which sounds really romantic Except for the separate part The table for one part The feeling like an outcast part Some of us even prefer the quiet A single bed in a studio apartment
A noted lack of roomates No disruptions or chaos Being alone isn't all bad It's being lonely that sucks Not knowing who to call Not having holiday plans Not being an emergency contact Some of us know we arent the favorite And this is the introverts dilemma Maintaining much needed relationships While sustaining much needed space.

Embracing plurality is hard The human animal likes familiar Perfection is a false belief
True acceptance an ongoing battle
We are humans, not robots We live with emotion  And individual perception The best we can do Is aim to know our bias Try to understand our priveledge Forgive our mistakes Keep striving for wisdom The complication keeps us alive Too much same is boring Our difference makes us beautiful.

My anger lives in meThat means I have a choice I can choose to kick it out Or make it go to its room Or try to calm it with reason My anger doesn't control me
I don't have to feed its fire I don't have to drink its poison Sure, there are things I can't fix Awful things in this world Things unfair, that hurt my heart But I can choose how I feel I can decide on forgiveness And compassion and calm I can make living with myself easier By deciding to be the better person Making anger an infrequent visitor.

You tighten the screws on you nutsAnd wonder why your dick hurts We tell you unscrewing is an option And you add weight to the aparatus
You wonder why love isn't yours As your lonely dick spewes hate When we tell you love comes from love You demand to be worshiped

Its hard to forgive the unrepentant Impossible to teach the stubornly stupid Sometimes we have to save ourselves From the toxic perpetraited by your sex.

Faith is not changed through factBelief is belligerent and stubborn Fighting face to face is fruitless
People change only for themselves How do we persist without impatience When the war we want to win It about bringing both sides together I can quietly persist in my defiance My defiance can be faith in humanity My belief can be that science saves us My forgiveness will be for everyone.

"I don't want you to die."I can say that honestly to anyone While there are people I hate People I don't want near me People I don't want in a role of power I don't want them dead I willfully don't understand  murder, or execution, or war So I certainly don't understand The willingness to sacrifice The life of another for comfort It is pure narcisim to think freedom Is worth more than a strangers life The frail deserve our protection
Culling the herd is a deplorable A kind human heart knows There is no disposable life.